Next time
by Archer' Grimm
Summary: Single. His only regret is his delaying to say those words to her...KxL


A/N: Minor mature content involved.

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Next time…I'll say it another time…That has been always the excuse. 

"Would you wait for me…"

Maybe I was afraid. That's too general, huh? There's so much to be afraid of when it comes to you. Rejection, hurt, betrayal, miscommunication…failure. I was afraid of those things. My first impression…was that you were perfect. You were, and still are, beautiful, well-mannered, educated, and sophisticated.

You were the one who gave me a new life, trading your much, much more valuable one in exchange. After that futile battle, you nursed me to health, stayed by my side, consoled my pain, and did everything for me…even to the point of risking your family. But I saw you as only a person I could cry on. I hadn't noticed there's that small voice in the back of head, always acting as my guardian angel.

**"_Let me be your strength"_**

When your tears flowed out and you shared your pain on my chest, I was stunned, stunned that my first impression fooled me. Maybe it was just an illusion, that those liquid orbs were just a dream. Cries should just be from me. It was then I realized you were not perfect, you also needed another's strength. But, my failure at saving her pushed me away from you. Yet you still followed. When I shared my origins revealed by that clone, you assured me that I am very valuable, and especially, though you only implied it, to you. When you entrusted me your mother's ring, which was extremely precious to you, my troubled mind and her presence, prevented the true response I wanted to give.

Next time…I'll say it another time…

At that enveloping bright light, your voice kept me alive, gave my leg muscles the energy to push those thruster pedals. For the second time, you redeemed me. When you asked to stay with me, my heart leaped for joy…But I couldn't express it. Her death and the blood of the last person I killed made me withdraw into myself. During my tantrums and my ignoring of you…you were very understanding. Perhaps my mother joining us at the orphanage prevented you from leaving. Little did I know your true feelings.

**"_I want to stay with you"_**

Foolishly trying to test your faith, I attempted to violate you, the beautiful and pure you. I pinned you down, I rend your dress. But you still smiled, despite the well-up in your azure eyes. Through the window and into the dark room, the moon light shining its rays onto you reminded me of that angelic figure I saw during your care. It is not fair! How could you extend your arms, welcoming me?! How could you still draw me onto your bosom, embracing me with your all? My tears should not stain you. But you held me tightly with that warm, fragile body as we lay on our sides. Your heartbeat made me feel safe. Your whispers calmed me. It has always been enough. I remember looking up and observing your peaceful sleeping face. But you were still awake. You answered my request by drawing closer. You gave me the honor of taking your first kiss.

**"_I love you"_**

You are worthy to be protected. And I want to be the one protecting you. May I do that? Am I able to do that? Will I lose you again as I lost her? But your worry for me was greater. That sword, broken in the enveloping light, was restored. You hid it in fear of my pain resurfacing again. Even in the face of death, you still cared. I was grateful… for allowing me to protect you…to do my heart's desire.

"Would you wait for me…I'll say those words"

Your affection erased the wall I built around myself. Your demeanor amazed me. You were very comfortable with me. I was truly privileged to be trusted that much. During that time in the hot spring, you asked for a towel, but ended up on my lap because the partition you leaned upon gave way. With the front of your body pressing against mine, you asked innocently about my extremely red face.

When the world began to change and you resolved to contribute in you own way, I pleaded to follow you. But, you convinced me to stay and promised that you'll come back to me. There's an immediate emptiness as I saw you leave a trail of smoke across the sky.

**"_I promise to come back to your side"_**

Words couldn't describe my gladness upon seeing you. I managed to fulfill part of my desire. As for the rest, I will fight with my fists if need be. Though you gave me another sword, you cried again. Why? Don't worry…I have something to protect now…something precious. But…

Next time…I'll say it another time…

Back in ORB, you approached my bedside. We shared a bed, content in each other's warmth after a long absence. Despite our skin contact, your faith persisted, that I would not harm you. It was a wonderful feeling to have, especially from someone like you. Males aren't as composed as females, and that showed clearly that night. I gazed the whole night away at you sleeping soundly between my arms. This is enough for me…

**"_My trust will never waver, no matter what happens"_**

I don't know if I could be as benevolent as you. You cried when your impostor gave her life. This is the second time you broke down on my shoulder. I wonder, if I were to receive the same fate, would you cry for me? I guess it was a stupid question, even that small voice said so…That voice…It started during my recupration in your house. I recalled the reverend saying you have a gift. When you left for space, that voice disappeared. Then during my confusion in the second battle with the clone, I can finally merge the pieces together…You called me.

**"_Kira!"_**

I hear you again as the fortress collapses. All these while, it was you. You confessed multiple times already. I am indeed a fool.

"Would you wait for me…I'll say those words…when I come back-"

Fate sometimes plays a dirty hand. It would put pleasantries in front of a person. And when the person finally realizes something, a mine was slipped in the final step. But, I won't let it take you. This sword may not be able to withstand even the outer edge of the cursed light, but it will give enough time for you. Eternal will not succumb to that so called 'new creation'.

"Knowing you was the best thing in my life…Allow me to be your shield for the last time…and if you could hear me…I love y-"

_**"…Come back! You promised! Kira!"**_

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A/N: Neo genesis is Latin for new creation, right?...Just in case, to clear up any confusion, normal speech is Kira's, single line paragraphs is Kira's, italized bold speech is Lacus's. I tried doing something like a rhyme scheme structure with the single line paragraphs: Kira, Lacus, Kira, Lacus, Lacus...then repeat once. 


End file.
